Things have been so much better (hallelujah)! I feel like I’ve been able to let so many things go – the need for control, the fear, the self-doubt, etc. I know a huge part of that was our prayer session… I’ve thought a lot about one specific prayer you prayed – that I’d be able to recognize the voice of the enemy. I feel able to do that to a degree now that it barely even registers and I don’t pay any attention to it. It’s like an annoying fly that I’m able to just swat away, and that’s such a huge change for me. I feel like my internal self-talk (which used to be so negative and critical) has gotten a lot kinder. I mean massive, massive, amazing changes.
I also went on a silent Jesuit retreat toward the end of my leave and that was so good for my relationship with God as well. I think I use do be afraid to have intentionally slow spaces in my life because my brain was always on and criticizing, but that retreat really showed me that there is nothing to fear from slowing down and having “empty” space. I feel like God showed in a massive way throughout that retreat and for the first time in a long time, I’m hearing him in prayer, through his word, etc. So much of what he has been showing me is about cultivating quiet places where I can seek him and hear him. It has been truly life-changing, and you have played such a huge part in that!!! Truly, I can’t say thank you enough